Meg
Golden Moderator
Posts : 50
Golden Points : 62
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2011-10-17
Age : 28
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Manco
Beginner
Posts : 119
Golden Points : 160
Reputation : 10
Join date : 2011-10-17
Age : 26
Location : New York, USA
|  Subject: Re: Missing Me  Tue Oct 18, 2011 1:49 am | |
| Please do, it's cool, makes me want to read on. Let me just do a small editing for you.
In the silence you could hear the sound of the tree rustling with the wind.
The sounds of a distant fog horn and the soft lapping sound of the sea
kissing the beach. You look around as you walk down the dark street with
nothing but the clothes you're wearing and some money you saved. Would
they notice that you left? wWould they miss you? You just wonder as you keep walking.
Can't wait to read more!
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Meg
Golden Moderator
Posts : 50
Golden Points : 62
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2011-10-17
Age : 28
| | Subject: Re: Missing Me Tue Oct 18, 2011 4:23 pm | |
| *thumbs up* As Long as your not critting my writing im good with it. I know im horrid with punc. and spelling. | |
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Zorn
Golden Owner
Posts : 55
Golden Points : 134
Reputation : 3
Join date : 2011-10-17
Age : 29
Location : UK
| | Subject: Re: Missing Me Wed Oct 19, 2011 4:15 pm | |
| :O
You used enjambument
Are you writing off a memory?
:O | |
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Meg
Golden Moderator
Posts : 50
Golden Points : 62
Reputation : 0
Join date : 2011-10-17
Age : 28
| | Subject: Re: Missing Me Wed Oct 19, 2011 4:40 pm | |
| starts out with a dream.... | |
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Zorn
Golden Owner
Posts : 55
Golden Points : 134
Reputation : 3
Join date : 2011-10-17
Age : 29
Location : UK
| | Subject: Re: Missing Me Wed Oct 19, 2011 4:41 pm | |
| Oh you can remember dreams ^_^ | |
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